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Apparently many people are preparing for New Year 2020 and the jokes that go with it. You should think twice about everything you hear and see. And yet there are jokes that almost everyone will walk in.

So we’ve decided to come up with funny stupid jokes from around the web that’ll definitely get you a big laugh.

Question: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Answer: Because if they flew over the bay they’d be Bagels.

Question: What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
Answer: One’s a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.

Question: What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
Answer: People in Dubai don’t like the Flinstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooooooooooooooo!

Question: Why don’t chickens wear underwear?
Answer: Because their pecker is on their face.

Question: What do you get when you combine a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Answer: Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there’s a dog.

Question: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
Answer: An investigator

Question: What do you do when your hot pants catch on fire?
Answer: Put them out with your pantyhose.

Question: What side of a duck has the most feathers?
Answer: The outside.

Question: Why did David hasselhoff change his name to “The Hoff??”
Answer: It’s less hassle

Question: What’s yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye?
Answer: A bulldozer.

Question: What do clouds wear under their pants?
Answer: Thunderwear

Question: Why are alligators long and green?
Answer: Because if they were short and red, they would be a tomato.

Question: What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
Answer: Well, I wouldn’t let a lentil on my face.

Question: Why do cows wear bells?
Answer: Because their horns don’t work

Question: Why are gay people always smiling?
Answer: Because they can’t keep a straight face.

Question: What do you call a fake noodle?
Answer: An impasta.

Question: What do you call a deaf gynaecologist?
Answer: A lip reader.

Question: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Answer: No idea.

Question: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Answer: Still no idea.

Question: Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Answer: Because pepper water makes the sneeze!

Question: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Answer: A fsh

Question: What do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public?
Answer: A private tutor

Question: Want to hear two short jokes and a long one?
Answer: Joke Joke Joooooooooooooooke

Question: Why couldnt the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because it got stuck in the crack.

Question: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Answer: Ten tickles

Question: How do you confuse an idiot?
Answer: Purple

Question: What’s Grey and not very heavy?
Answer: Light grey

Question: What’s 12 inches long, made of leather, and rhymes with sneezing?
Answer: A shoe

Question: Why did the sperm cross the road?
Answer: Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

Question: What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Answer: Roberto

Question: Do you know why Scottish people call it a kilt?
Answer: Because they kilt the last man who called it a skirt!

Question: What has two legs, but can’t walk?
Answer: Half a dog.

Question: What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
Answer: A big red rock eater.

Question: Why can’t boy ghost have babies?
Answer: Because they hallow weenies.

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Friday, Sep 18, 2020
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